Approx read time <4 min

Tonight, I want it to just be about me.

Oh, I’ve never noticed this before with the words “time” and “spent”.  Put that way, it’s like you’re spending a currency.  Something that is finite.  What would the value of money be if it were infinite.  Same with life.  There would be no value if we were all immortal and lived forever.

Today is the last day this will happen.  I’ll never be 28 years and 96 days old again.  Just like it’s impossible for me to be 21 again.

Time just seems to move so slowly, that, as children, we don’t see ourselves getting taller.  Or see a wrinkle at first.  We look in the mirror and think we see the exact same thing as we did yesterday and take for granted the facts of life… that we truly are different.  That we truly are older.

That we truly are one day closer to the day we die.  Oh it will happen.  To every motherfuckin living thing on Earth.

Even the people who spend their entire lives taking more and more and wanting it all for themselves- only to die in a moment.  And the ones who spend more time at work than at home with their families.  In the end, no one can take anything with them and will always no longer have what they had worked their whole lives for and perhaps even screwed people over for.  They had sacrificed the wrong thing, their time, and can’t ever get any of it back.

For most people, reading these words should be a bit of a reality check.

These are real things I’m saying here. Not my opinions or thoughts on life.  You’ve now spent about an entire minute of your life reading this post and you won’t be getting it back.  To me, that deserves some form of gratitude.

I actually do listen, think about what ppl say, and respond accordingly.  I figure, if I am going to be here anyway then goddamit am I going to make whatever it is that I’m doing worthwhile.  I also can’t get myself to save my energy and not pay attention.  If I say a bland comment, or succumb to worthless small talk, I start to feel bad about myself.  I just can’t stand wasting my time.  If right now isn’t worth it, and I can’t find interest in any of it no matter what, then I’d rather die.

There will be nothing in the world that can get in my way of leaving a situation.  I refuse to have my time forced to be worthless.  To volunteer for a moment that is for sure going to be forgotten, and for sure doesn’t fucking matter, then I will simply walk away.  Awkward as fuck, or rude, or whatever, I do not care.

I find it more offensive for whoever it is to want to keep me in that situation, whether they understand or not.  I do not respect the person who gets mad at me for refusing to waste life for even a few minutes.

Fuck them, the more mad they get, the more confident I am that I’ll never see them again.

I hate wasted time so much that I’ve become incredible – and quite creative – at finding interest in other people or whatever mundane situation I might find myself in.  I utterly loath the thoughts “when is this going to be over”, “when are they leaving”, or just spending anxious moments waiting for a day to be a part of the past.  Shame on all of that.

I mean, why would someone want to be a part of a moment that is absolutely pointless.  They must not have the wherewithal to be deeply honest with themselves, but I can’t take on their flaws and participate in that ultimate ignorance.  Something or someone simply IS worth your life and time, or it simply ISN’T.  And hangin in there, perhaps to prevent from hurting someone else’s feelings, is not a noble act.  Find a way to leave the situation, and if you care enough, find a way to do it nicely.  But definitely… definitely… get yourself out of there.

That said, those thoughts do cross my mind, but I do not give them much mental energy.  I acknowledge and move on.  Repeating those phrases too many times perpetuates a cycle of hypocrisy.  Before you even begin to realize it, you’ll be immersed in a pointless life.  And you’ll hate everything…. Everything you do from the job you work at all day long, to the house you live at day after day, to the ones you choose to live the rest of your days with.

Rude, blunt, awkward, embarrassing, it’ll be over soon.  And everyone will be better off, not just you.

The easier way to do all this of course, is to become good with communication and reading people, so you know what they need to hear in order to not have them get their feelings hurt or take offense in some way.  There is always more than one way to deal with something.  Emotions sometimes push us into only seeing one side of the spectrum of what’s possible, or what can be expected in the future.  But yes, many ways good, bad, and otherwise are always available to us when dealing with people or in situations of any kind.  Really.  The ones that don’t fall in line with your feelings are just harder to see and believe- but they are always there.

Just do it anyways and try.  Perhaps you’ll be better at it next time.  You’ll never regret dealing with something and removing yourself from the situation that, again, is wasting your precious days and time.  Life really really is too damn short.  And that’s exactly what you’ll be saving… Life.

Continued from…    Men’s Room Etiquette

I’ve been exposed to some alarming habits that take place in Men’s Locker Rooms.  

And no, Gentlemen. Using the Locker Room benches to stretch while nude is not a good time have a political discussion.

This guide is meant to ensure a non offensive, non obtrusive, and private way of carrying yourself.

…even if the guy in the locker room is letting his junk air dry.

General Rule:

It is the Man’s responsibility to show consideration and awareness when entering a Men’s Locker Room. 

The Man is not to impose on another Man in any way, unless absolutely necessary.

MEN’S LOCKER ROOM ETIQUETTE

Do’s and Don’ts

You May:  

• Share a locker with a buddy.

• Have a fellow Man look over your fully-clothed body for flawed appearance, such as missing a button on a shirt, problem with a tie, etc.  [see note below]

• Have a conversation while changing.  To stop dressing/undressing to talk while nude for more than a half a second is a violation.
  

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Note:  Lint Roller’s 

Lint Roller assistance is fine.  Take pride in a Man’s trust in you to help him look his best.    However…

Lint Rolling your fellow Man will have a strict focus on the job at hand. 

For those few seconds, you are an acting dry cleaner only paying attention to fabric. 

If there’s areas of the fabric that the Man can reach/see, he can Roll those areas himself. 

Even if he insists, you insist back saying you’re not his b****  

[mens locker room talk, see last section for more on Locker Room talk].

You May Not!

• Borrow another dudes deodorant, unless it is a spray.

• Ask for help in any way until you have shielded your genitals from natural sight, unless of course there’s a medical emergency.

• Stretch while nude and toweless.  Use either Icy Hot or get dressed again and stretch in the appropriate calisthenics area.

Proper Shower Etiquette:

There are several shower set ups I’ve seen; the single shower with flimsy curtain, and the “community” shower room.  Both share a pre-shower checklist.

The Pre-shower checklist…

1. Strip down to boxers, briefs, or underwear of choice.
2. Wrap towel around your waste.
3. Underneath the towel, take off your underwear of choice.
4. Stay Tidy.
   • Locker- put everything in it or neatly in front.
   • No locker- fold/roll clothes up and stack on top of shoes, and placed under a bench discretely out of the way
5. Remember your shower shoes!  Trust that you don’t want to find out why.
   

You may ask another guy for shower gel or maybe- just maybe- a towel or some types of lotions, but keep these sort of favors to an absolute necessity.

You’re ready.  Continue to the Shower.

Single Shower Procedure…

The Man will…

• Wait until he is completely in the shower hang up towel.

• Dry off in the shower, wrapping the towel around waste before exiting

• Make sure he has all of his ‘stuff’.  Once Man leave’s area and it’s occupied again, there’s no going back for forgotten items.  The Man will accept that they are gone forever…
  

Special Considerations…

Note 1- Water may be turned on ahead of time and tested as long as there isn’t any drawn out lengths of time or awkward reaching for anything.

Note 2- Conversations between Men that are in separate individual showers are acceptable once curtain has been closed for at least one of the Men involved in the conversation.

Community Shower Procedure…

Relevant Terms…

Meat Gazing  –  When a Man is caught looking in the general direction of another Man’s genitals.  He is said to be “gazing meat”.

The Man will…

• Ensure full adherence to the Pre-shower checklist above

• Face the wall while showering
  • If turning around is necessary, line of sight is not to go below 45 degrees towards the floor.

• Use a towel if not alone.  Air dry at home.  Men are getting all too comfortable conversing in the nude.

Honestly, that’s it, Community Showering is simple.  And sharing shower soap/gel is more acceptable in these situations.

Conversations and jokes can be had, but again, extremely limited eye contact if any.

Listen.  We all know what a dick looks like. 

None of this is to say looking at dicks is a problem, I know and highly respect some gay guys. 

But to get back to the general rule, consideration and awareness should be exercised to the point where it would take effort and positioning for another dude to check out the package on another dude. 

That way there was a conscious choice to view the naked Man, as oppose to a shocking surprise. 

Whether the Man being “checked out” cares is up to his efforts to reduce occasions where his package is exposed. 

A great philosopher once said:

“Public places require private practices; the responsibility lies with the Nude Man to protect his innocence.”

There’s no ADD when you are naked, getting distracted shouldn’t be happening.  Stay focused on the task at hand.

I’ve seen more un-welcomed dicks in my life from community showers and locker rooms than I would like to admit.  This sort of thing is simply a part of dealing with community showers in the military, gyms, pools, or the like. 

It’s peripheral vision and sudden uncontrollable – and regretful– glances. 

Any Man who says this has never happened to him, is a Meat Gazing liar. 

Exceptions to Meat Gazing: 

Example… if a black guy turns too quickly and knocks a soap dispenser off the wall, it would be rude of me not to be able to repeat that story with accurate details.

Locker Room Talk

Oh yeah.  Sorry but Trump was spot on with the “Locker Room” talk.  Surprising to most Women, Men talk A LOT in Men’s Locker Rooms. 

This is where some Men get advice on life; anywhere from  medical questions, life lessons learned, news and current events, how to meet Women, or even pharmaceutical biology.

I’ve seen the dumbest ass hole know more about how L-Arginine dilates the blood vessels allowing more oxygen to enter your muscle cells, encouraging faster mitochondrial activity- ergo more energy for more reps bro! 

A sore muscle or weird foot problem or even an unidentified burning sensation can all be diagnosed with treatment recommendations; there’s plenty of ‘Men’-dical experts. [ha. couldn’t help myself.]

That being said, Men’s Locker Room Talk is as credible as wikipedia.  You can always expect opinionated-facts, exaggerations, or inflated stories of the past. 

For example, the “10” he got with last night was probably a “6-pack” kind of “10”.  Or perhaps he didn’t get laid at all.

It could even be past fights that they notoriously won, great feats against the odds, or accomplishments they were either a part of or viewed from afar but somehow influenced.

Somehow, none of this is considered to be a lie if spoken in a Men’s Locker Room.

If you’re a Man reading this, you might be giggling from something you’ve once heard.  For the women, just be glad you don’t have to listen to it.

View Men’s Room Etiquette

Or Move on to:  Anecdote and Conclusion of Men’s Room/Locker Room Etiquette (Link coming soon…)

I’m by no means a poet (And I know it). Still, read on. This one is as Live and raw as it gets.

Tick, Tock

Go on time. Keep passing, keep passing.

I find myself paralyzed. Staring.

I can’t move, and I can’t think. Tick.

Another second, another minute… Panic.

Stay calm. This will pass, this will pass.

A prison cell with 4 walls. Collapse.

Oblivion, it’s pulling me in. Relinquish.

Locked up by seconds, prisoner to minutes. Until I diminish.

Consumed. The world is vast. It’s so vast.

All the things that were and was. Create the past.

Accumulating as I hopelessly watch. In pain.

Bound by ticks, restrained by tocks. Am I still sane?

So go ahead.  Tick, tock.  Tick, tock.

You’ve ticked before me, you’ll tock after, fucking clock.

Never early, and never late. Quick as a blink.

Ticking perfectly, tocking persistently. Keeping all of life in sync.